Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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