Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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