I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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