Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
