i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
