Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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