Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
