So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
