Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
