when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
