Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
