There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
