yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
