My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
pray to the hookup gods
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
