Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
