I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
