When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
