Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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