so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
