I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So vagazzling was a success
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
