i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
