I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
