that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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