Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
