please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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