i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
