We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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