a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
