She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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