we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
