Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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