you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
