There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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