I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
