Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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