I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
