I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She swung at the pinata with crutches
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
