But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
