dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
