something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
