Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
