My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
