the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
