Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
