Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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