i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think your dad took our porno
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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