i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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