guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
