I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
