K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
