Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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